Hey, the end table is barking! Cool stuff for (and about) your pets

Forget fussy sweaters, feather boas and rhinestone collars. Here in fleece country, we like low-maintenance stuff for our pets and, OK, ourselves. We want practical, funny, and most important, we want smart. So here are a few of our — and our companions' — favorite things.

"Dog is my co-pilot"

Considered the New Yorker of dog magazines, The Bark is a smart, funny and often touching alternative to typical pooch press. You'll get plenty of advice, but you'll also get essays and poems on the culture of dogdom from such writers as Alice Walker, Erica Jong and David Sedaris. If your dog shares your bed, this magazine is for you. The $4.95 bimonthly is sold at bookstores and Whole Foods.

The path of leash resistance

The locally invented Jerk-Ease doesn't stop your excitable boxer from pulling at the leash — it just stops him from pulling your arm from its socket. And for anyone who's lost more than one tall mocha to a squirrel sighting, the rubbery shock-absorber is worth the $9-$14 investment. Available in some stores and at www.jerk-ease.com.

Hell on four paws

Marley got expelled from obedience school, leapt from a moving car, dragged a bistro table 50 feet down a sidewalk and galloped around the yard with his head lodged in a bucket.

We love him.

So did his harried owner, Philadelphia Inquirer columnist John Grogan, who had enough zany stories about his mischievous yellow Lab to fill a book, which now tops two best-seller lists and is optioned for a movie.

StudioHaus is a hip end table that doubles as a dog kennel.

"Marley & Me" (HarperCollins, $21.95) is a hilarious and poignant account of "life and love with the world's worst dog." Tissues sold separately.

In the dog haus

Small apartments always have posed a problem for dog owners: Where to put the crate? Now comes StudioHaus, a hip end table that doubles as a dog kennel. For about $425 (style doesn't come cheaply), the steel "haus" has a soft cushion and a lockable pocket door. The larger LoftHaus, for dogs up to 50 pounds, sells for $555. You can find either at Urban Dogs in Bellevue and other independent pet stores around Seattle.

Oops, I whizzed my pants

Some dogs can't help it, and some dogs just don't get it. In either case, you can find salvation for your urinary-challenged pooch with doggie diapers — or as designer Neena Pellegrini discreetly calls them, "pants for dogs." Pellegrini is a Seattle Times desk editor who, it turns out, makes and sells these pull-ons and cummerbunds in her spare time.

There are other types of doggie diapers on the market, but these are strong enough to withstand a naughty escape-artist terrier who, try as he might, can't get the things off. $16 to $25; www.pantsfordogs.com.

Pup art

The bold, expressive style of Tillamook Cheddar (the dog, not the cheese) evokes a hyperactive Jackson Pollock — if the latter had an obsessive scratching streak. New Yorker Bowman Hastie recognized the marriage of madness and genius in his Jack Russell terrier, and turned his pet into a bonafide artist. Tillie's work can be seen at www.tillamookcheddar.com.

Dog tracker

Globalpetfinder's dog tracker uses GPS technology to help you keep tabs on your pet's location.

What did we do before GPS tracking devices? Oh yes, we canvassed the neighborhood with posters of our lost pet, then went home and cried our eyes out. These collars — which alert you when your dog breaches an invisible "fence" — aren't cheap (Globalpetfinder's runs $350), but they will keep tabs on just where your beloved Houdini is at any given moment — including if he has burrowed under the fence and is racing down the street (www.globalpetfinder.com).

The poopenator

Cat toilets aren't new, but unlike the flimsy plastic trays, this one seems to actually work. The sturdy Feline Evolution CatSeat fits atop an ordinary toilet. Sand-textured shelves below the seat allow your cat to follow his instinct and scratch to "cover up" his deposit — a feature that apparently makes the device more attractive to feline clean-freaks. Humans can return the toilet to normal use by pushing a button that retracts the shelves.

The CatSeat ($119.99 through Petco) comes with a bag for litter, which helps wean the cat from the litterbox. Check out a video of the inventor's cat using the seat at www.felinevolution.com.